Pat Kane = Dany Heatly 2.0

In case you haven't heard, or figured enough about life to understand yet, Patrick Kane has embarked on the journey to Alcoholics Anonymous. Once I had the happy opportunity to drive a drunk-driver-en-route-to-jail-time to an AA meeting - the only thing I remember was a movie they showed about alcoholism; and Kane is as near to a certainty as you're likely to meet. We all know the type: party guy who always stays until the bar shuts, the party on it's last legs. The ones who can never say never, etc. Great drinking buddies to be sure, so long as they're not your roomate. I've now decided to like Pat kane. For one thing, he's got sublime hockey skill, and I'm always a fan of that. Secondly, he's human, a bit of a fool, and now, instead of worrying about beaten up cab drivers or just-choked young ladies, we can all sit back, relax, and enjoy the soap opera. Last night, LA Kings beat the Phoenix Coyotes. Kings sure look like they're going to the finals, but I'm pulling for the Yotes, with their three ex-Oiler rejects.

Best Non-Oilers Playoff year ever! ....... Currently on May 4, 2012, the following teams are in action: ......plus..... My reasons to like each team: .... .... Capitals - Ovie shuts them up. .... .... Yotes - fave hope left, after the Blues bow out. Unlikely comedy developing. ..... Preds - faceless team, Trotz great! ..... Kings - help forget Gretzky, original six(sic) expansion team + Eddie Joyal.

STAND UP Taylor Hall FFS

Taylor Hall must learn to stay on his feet, unless he's going to crash and burn out of hockey.

My suggestion is to fine Hall $100.00 every time he falls to the ice. Make it into a contest. Whatever. With everyone following him getting fined after every game, he's bound to get the message.

RE PREDICTIONS OILERS TANK: With that ridiculous unbeaten run of late(5-0-2 methinks), they're now out of 29th and will probably not return to that spot, if anything time to worry about the next 2-3 teams above because none of them are tearing up much and oiler's are too close to fucking up the season, and am frankly, sick of it. So, not many if any more posts for awhile.

Predictions to March 24, 2012

Oilers will be without Taylor Hall from the look of things. Terrible, sad, inevitable news. Unless Taylor Hall learns how to play hockey without falling on the ice ten times a game, he's going to have a frustrating and short career. Anyway, oiler's(I refuse to capitalise this until they start playing like a real hockey team instead of losers, sheesh) with Hall I figured were good to spit the next 8 points coming up, with games against the Yotes, Preds, Bolts, and Florida. oilers win streak comes to an end next game, either way it's a 4 point week until March 24, 2012. Then, they will have 67 points. New scary team to watch out for with the tank: Islanders. Habs, after seeing how good the oil were at tanking, decided not to bother, and

are out of the race.

HUNTER1909'S FEARLESS PREDICTION FOR OILERS TOTAL POINTS TO BE GAINED BETWEEN MARCH 1 AND MARCH 17, 2012:

Oiler's current point total: 56

add: Oiler's expected
points total 7 points


Total amount of points Oiler's expected to have by march 17, 2012: 63 points.

TOP TANKING RIVAL = Montreal Canadiens! All the best, Jean Beliveau let's hope the Habs can win a few for you between March 1 and 17. You guys play nearly all BAD teams, and most are Canadian; Also at least 2 games with Buffalo, all which guarantee at least 2 points between the teams on the night. Oilers need to make up ground here for sure!


hunter1909 1-0 record so far: last time, predicted oilers would end up with 57 points. therefore: WIN 1-0 record; next hunter1909's prediction on March 18, 2012.

Having calculated how many points yours truly expects the oilers(lower case until they start playing properly) to end up with close to or near to:

57 points

By the end of February.

As a wholehearted proponent of tanking the season(the higher oilers pick, the better likelihood of them adding another genius), am concerned about the following teams in the race for 29th: Buffalo worries me the most.

Lose these Turds

I haven't been watching the Oilers too carefully this year, thank fuck.

Barry Trotz should be poached from the Nashville Predators. Dude knows what day it is.

Tom Renney is a bad coach. Anyone can have superstars(he gets zero credit for the Kid Line). Renney's fucked up the Swedes, and all of those other things like pulling the goalie last night. he's lost the team, and needs to go.

Shawn Horcoff is a washed up third liner, who should be in the AHL, or pressbox. If I was the coach I'd bench him, at least make him a healthy scratch.

Reasons to be Cheerful

I like the way so many young defence prospects are getting their NHL debut out of the way this year. At least they all know what needs to be done to improve.

Of course with the Kid Line all out, they're TANKING!! I know that if I was running the Oilers today, January 2012 I'd want a GUARANTEED shot at: Ryan Murray, Grigorenko, Yakupov.

The kiddie corps defence will be useful when playoff hockey returns in 2013-14.

The rest of the NHL fan's turn green with envy when they see the Kid Line, plus other top picks and potential future. If it all works they're the Colorado Avalanche 2.0 and should be good for around 7 WC Finals, and 2-3 cups. They're potentially that good.

All talk now of course.

PS: NOTE TO KATZ - Promise to never mention MacT again, and buy out Horcoff asap, and I promise to never complain about President of Hockey Operations Kevin Lowe again.

Doppelganger

The similarity is uncanny.

And Then It Finally Dawned On Me

I used to love the Oilers. That of course was when I was a mere youth, and the team were awesome.

Then they started handing their players to rival teams(Paul Coffey to Pittsburgh started the trend), and at first it still was okay. Even Gretzky to the Kings was palatable, since the 1990 SC winning team had the potential to continue winning. But it wasn't to be. More players were sold, Messier decided enough was enough and when he left so did my interest in the NHL - I would spend the next decade ignoring the NHL almost entirely.

Then for some reason after college I started getting into hockey again, while living in another city. Oilers seemed far away, and their pathetic annual chase for 8th place amused me, for all the wrong reasons. Instead of a fan, I was now a fiend.

Today I see the Oilers as a team that is going down in history as one of the great sad sack franchises of all time. Ever the optimist, I predicted 6th place in the West, based on my fanciful imagination and the fact that the team had a few incredibly young gifted players. Now, halfway through the third season of absolute total suckage, I look like a moron(again). I never worry about looking dumb, but don't like being dumb.

Looking at the intelligence of the Oilers fanbase, watching their analytical skills is kind of weird. For one thing, collectively they seem to understand more about the team than the team does itself. It's just fucked up. Once upon a time I had Slats to depend on to routinely keep the team competative; but today, it's left to an impotent fanbase to wax endlessly on regarding what needs to be done, but never is.

It's insane. Beam me up, Scotty.

Oilers MO Re Their Exiting Players

Why can't the Oilers let anyone leave town with dignity?

Ales Hemsky's basically given up his future health, having been hammered into the boards so many times he's probably got permanent slivers all over his body.

But now, that he's approaching UFA status, Oiler's front office has already begun it's usual "Let's run the bastard out of town" show.

Umm, guys...this isn't a good thing. Sooner or later Oiler's will draft someone who will pull an Eric Lindros and tell the Oilers to fuck off. That player will say things like: "I don't like the way they have ruined the careers of so many of their young players." Then refuse to sign with the team.

In so many ways, this would be a good thing - other than for the fact they won't end up firing Lowe or any of the other deadbeats(Buschburger as eventual head coach hahahaha).