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Ancestors who were killed in the wars. One of them, an 18 year old from Ontario, blown to pieces after being in France for 4 weeks. They never found so much as a shred of him - I've got a pic of him somewhere, he looks just like a tin soldier.

But even though everyone else in the internet are sanctimoniously making announcements, today i want to examine a thought: Every asshole these days loves to yap about how old time hockey players wouldn't stand a chance in today's uber NHL, so I want to pose the question: WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO A 2009 PANSY ASSED NHLER, TWILIGHT ZONED INTO 1959?

No special diets laid out by specialist staff no...just steak and chips...three times a day I'd imagine. When he complains, the other players just look at him and laugh, like he's nuts or something.

Then postgame, no special fluids to rebuilt his chemicals, just beer beer and more beer.

He wants to train, like in 2009 - but once again the player's culture mocks him. They stay fit by playing in the games - so what's this idiot's problem?

His equipment is ahem, primitive? Who wouldn't love to see their most hated goalie twilight zoned to 1959, NO MASK??? No special fatboy lightweight goalie equipment either - just leather stuffed with horsehair crappola.

Skates and sticks, wood and leather only please. Soggy equipment. No helmets to protect sissy heads.

Play a few bad games during the adjustment? No problem! The 2009 dude simply gets cut and ends up in the AHL - forever.

Ditto if precious gets injured.

Gordie Howe runs him into the boards head first? Depends. If at home, the crowd boos a little. If away, it cheers. The refs do nothing.

After the season, time to get a job. Like when my dad saw Gordie fucking Howe in April, sitting in a santa style grotto in the 60's, at the Bay. Yikes. And he was lucky not to have to go get a real job.

But, provided precious can hack the reality of the man's game, I would think after a few months, he would start to realise that he was actually in a cool situation. A part of a real team, not just a collection of overpaid fuckwits. being able to shag pretty girls left right and center, without any fear of consequences.

Thought: How many games would Mike Modano's teeth have lasted in 1959?

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